My Top Tips for Handling Loneliness as a Single Parent

Loneliness as a single parent is not always the obvious kind, like sitting alone on a Friday night. Sometimes it shows up in the quiet moments after the kids go to bed. Sometimes it shows up when you’re doing everything right, working, parenting, managing the house, and you still feel like something is missing.

And the hardest part? You can love your kids deeply and still feel lonely. Both things can be true at the same time.

If you’ve been feeling that emptiness lately, I want you to know you’re not in the boat alone, this is a very common feeling for single parents to struggle with.

So, here are my top tips for handling loneliness as a single parent, without shaming yourself for it.

1. Stop Telling Yourself You “Shouldn’t” Feel Lonely

This is the first thing I want to say clearly: loneliness doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

A lot of single parents feel guilt for even admitting they’re lonely. You might think:

• “I have my kids, I shouldn’t feel like this.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

• “I chose this, so I have to be strong.”

But loneliness is not a character flaw. It’s a signal.

It’s your mind and body reminding you that you need connection, support, and emotional safety.

The moment you stop fighting your feelings, you can start actually healing them.

2. Create a Routine That Includes You, Not Just Your Kids

Single parents are often in survival mode. Everything revolves around the kids:

• school schedules

• meals

• homework

• bedtime

• laundry

• bills

• appointments

  
  

And somewhere in all of that, you disappear.

Loneliness grows when you don’t have anything in your life that belongs to you.

So its time to build that you time up, start small:

• a 10-minute morning coffee on your own

• a nightly shower with music

• a short walk after drop-off

• journaling for 5 minutes before bed

It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be consistent.

3. Find “Low-Energy” Ways to Connect

When you’re parenting alone, you’re exhausted. So when someone says, “Just go out and meet people!” it can feel almost insulting.

The goal isn’t to become super social overnight.

The goal is to build relationships in ways that don’t drain you.

Some low-energy connection ideas:

• voice notes with a friend

• texting one person you trust

• joining an online support group

• going to the same coffee shop regularly (I go to the same coffee shop, and every time I walk in they greet me by name, not just one person, everyone. It’s such a simple gesture, but it makes me feel noticed and valued)

• talking to other parents at pickup

• attending one monthly event

Loneliness doesn’t always need a crowd. Sometimes it just needs one safe person.

4. Let Yourself Grieve What You Lost

A breakup, divorce, or separation doesn’t just change your relationship status.

It changes your whole life.

You might be grieving:

• the family you imagined

• having a partner to share the load

• adult conversation at the end of the day

• being cared for

• having someone to come home to

• the version of yourself you used to be

Loneliness often gets worse when we rush past grief and pretend we’re fine.

You don’t have to stay stuck there. But you do deserve to acknowledge what it cost you.

5. Don’t Wait for Someone Else to “Save” You From Loneliness

This one is hard, but it’s important.

Many single parents get trapped in the mindset of:

“Once I find a new partner, I’ll feel better.”

But if you build your emotional stability on a relationship, you can end up accepting less than you deserve, just to avoid being alone.

Instead, work on becoming emotionally safe for yourself.

That way, if love comes later, it’s a bonus, not a lifeline.

6. Make Your Home Feel Like a Place You Want to Be

Loneliness can feel much more intense when your home feels like a stress zone.

You don’t need money to shift the energy.

Try:

• a clean corner just for you

• a candle or essential oil

• cozy lighting

• Music that changes the mood

• a “reset” routine at night

• a comforting show or book

• fresh flowers

• a declutter

Your home doesn’t have to be perfect. But it should feel like it your home too, not just the kids.

7. Start Doing Things You Can Look Forward To

One of the most painful parts of loneliness is feeling like life is just repeating:

Wake up. Work. Kids. Sleep. Repeat.

Start giving yourself small things to look forward to:

• a Sunday treat

• a new show

• a hobby you can do at home

• a monthly lunch date

• a gym class once a week

• coffee catch up with a friend

• a solo “me day” when the kids are with family or their other parent

Even small anticipation helps the brain feel less stuck.

8. Be Careful Who You Share Your Vulnerability With

Not everyone deserves access to your loneliness.

Some people will minimize it.

Some will judge it.

Some will use it to control you.

Choose safe people.

A good rule of thumb: If someone makes you feel worse after you talk to them, they’re not your safe space.

9. Talk to Someone If Loneliness Is Turning Into Depression

Loneliness is common, but if it turns into:

• constant sadness

• hopelessness

• loss of motivation

• difficulty sleeping

• numbness

• feeling like you don’t matter

That’s not something you have to push through alone.

Therapy, coaching, support groups, or even just talking to your doctor can be life-changing.

You deserve support. Period.

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10. Remember: Your Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Parent, They Need a Supported One

A lot of single parents feel pressure to be everything.

But the truth is: you don’t have to do it all alone.

Loneliness eases when you let yourself receive help, connection, and love, whether it comes from friends, family, community, or professional support.

You are allowed to be held, too and asking for hep or support comes with confidence not failure.

If you’re a single parent feeling lonely, please remember this:

You are not broken. You are not weak. You are not behind.

You’re dealing with a lot, and you deserve support while you carry it.

Lastly please remember being a single parent is hard, especially in the beginning when everything feels new and overwhelming. It’s okay to admit you’re struggling. But people don’t always know you need help unless you ask.

It’s easy to get stuck thinking, “They should just offer… they should know.” But the truth is, a lot of people don’t want to interfere. They don’t want to presume. Some worry they’ll make you feel like you’re not coping or that they’re interfering. And honestly, most people are just busy and caught up in their own lives, not because they’re selfish, but because life is a lot for everyone.

So please don’t ever feel scared to speak up and say, “Can you help me with school drop-off?” or “Could you watch the kids for half an hour?” or even, “I’m having a hard week.” You deserve support, and sometimes you have to give people the chance to show up for you.

Loneliness isn’t the end of your story. It’s just a sign that your heart is ready for connection again.

And you will get there. And if you do ever need some extra support, please know, I'm always here.